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MORGAN HILL, CA—Having blown through nearly half the titles on the 20-book list in less than two weeks, chronically lonely fourth-grader Logan Parata is currently crushing the Santa Clara County Library’s summer reading program, sources confirmed Wednesday.

CHICAGO—Sprinting down the platform and frantically waving his arms, local man Dustin Sayer was reportedly running toward a departing train Wednesday because he must have finally realized he loves her.

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